Pepper and Ass

Bought some new body wash the last time I was at the ol' Jewel-Osco... yeah, I know how to treat myself right. I decided to go for the grapefruit and lemongrass scented Dove. It's supposed to energize you, and with two 7 am tumor boards a week I need all the energy I can get. It smelled pretty good in the store. Citrusy. However, the story changed when it combined with water.

Chemical reactions of an unspeakable nature combined to create the one of the top three foulest stenches I've ever been trapped in a shower with. (Don't ask.) It was a overbearing, peppery stank. And I mean both pepper the spice and Pepper my family's dead rabbit who's been decaying underground in an HP printer box for quite some time now. Pepper and skunk. Pepper and hot wet garbage.

I thought I was clear of the stink but a few hours later while sitting at the computer in clinic, I caught a whiff of it. Oh, God no. It was lingering and combining with my perfume to give me a light, delicate aura of peppered ass. Not to say that my perfume smells of ass. It was some chemical reaction or something. I can't explain it. Science.

It seemed to come and go all day, so I avoided getting close to anyone lest they begin to question my personal hygiene. After all, it was bathing that got me into this mess. I had to go back to Jewel-Osco tonight so I bought new body wash: swirly blue with an ocean-fresh scent. Until the water hits it, anyway. Hopefully I smell better tomorrow.